This has been on my mind

I should blog a lot more often.  Real bloggers blog more often than I do.  But, I’m not a really real blogger.  I have a job that takes up the time that I would like to have to write about all the ideas in my head.  Instead of writing, the ideas just bounce around, while I form paragraphs in my mind during my shower or my drive, but never get committed to paper or screen.  And some ideas and thoughts just bounce around, never forming enough content to become a blog of their own.

Here are the things that have been taking up my brain cells over the last three or four days:

  • Ebola – badScreen Shot 2014-10-16 at 8.27.00 PM
  • Ebola outbreak — worse
  • Ebola outbreak —  been haunting my nightmares since I read The Hot Zone by Richard Preston about 8 years ago
  • Ebola in America — inevitable
  • People who didn’t think it would be in America — naive
  • Lack of coverage of thousands dying in Africa now that Ebola is in America — shameful, but not surprising
  • NC Senate Race — terrible
  • NC Senate Race Result — awful, regardless of winner
  • Time — not enough time in a day
  • Time — going way to fast
  • Time — will I ever get to retire?
  • Time — how did I get this old?
  • Time — I don’t look bad for my age
  • Fall — I love Fall!
  • Fall — I hate this time of year as the days get shorter
  • Olive Tapenade hummus — love you
  • The Walking Dead — Yeah
  • The Walking Dead — Boo, can’t watch by myself, and now I’m by myself
  • The Walking Dead — fuck it, I’ll try to watch by myself
  • The Walking Dead — look at me, watching it by myself
  • The Walking Dead — crap, did they just cut those throats?
  • The Walking Dead — I’m glad that walkers aren’t real
  • The Walking Dead — why didn’t I take that shotgun when I left that he “gave” me for my Christmas present?
  • The Walking Dead — what am I going to do if there is a zombie apocalypse?  Who’s going to help me survive?
  • The Walking Dead — I’ll buy some canned goods to stock pile next time I’m at the store
  • New Viagra Commercial — that’s targeted at women?  huh?
  • New Viagra Commercial — wonder what the average age of a man with ED is?
  • New Viagra Commercial — wonder what the likelihood is that the next man that I date has ED?
  • Dating Again — Sure
  • Dating Again — meh
  • Dating Again — Absolutely not, men suck
  • Dating Again — Why not?
  • My marriage — *sigh*, just *sigh*
  • Work — I was a rock star!
  • Work — I have no idea what I’m doing some days
  • Work — I got this, be-yotches!  You know I do!
  • Work — I need a drink this evening
  • Me — am I doing alright?
  • Me — I’m doing alright!
  • Me — I’m a mess sometimes

So it goes.  And goes.  And goes.

I wish that I could take all that and make something of it.  Something wonderful and meaningful and grand.  I remind myself that I won’t always be able to produce greatness and that’s ok — but the act of trying eases my soul.

Zombie Talk

Matt and I spent the weekend watching a Walking Dead marathon.  So, we’ve spent an enormous time talking about zombies.  Here are just a sample of some of our conversations this weekend.

Conversation #1

me:  I want you to just go ahead and kill me if the zombie apocalypse starts.  I don’t want to be alive for the post-apocalypse stuff.

Matt:  What?  You don’t think that you would have anything to offer the rest of the survivors?

me:  Are you kidding?  I would just be a whiny bitch.

Matt:  Come on.  You’d be able to contribute something.

me:  No, really.  My anti-depressant would run out and then I would just end up wanting to stay in bed all the time and there would be NO air conditioning and then I would really be a bitch.

Matt:  Yeah, that wouldn’t be good for anyone.

Conversation #2

Matt:  I don’t think some of the stuff on the show is very realistic.

me:  Like what?

Matt:  Like the drug stuff.  Like they didn’t take all the drugs from the drug store at once.  When the zombie attack broke out, why didn’t they go to the drug store, and take all the drugs then?  Why would they keep going back to the drug store?  Get it all at once.

me:  True, but there would be stuff that you just know that you won’t use.  Like prenatal vitamins.

Matt:  Yeah, I could see that.

me:  And Viagra.  I would totally skip getting Viagra and Cialis.  I mean, I would be like, “I can’t have him distracted a whole weekend–we got the dead walking around.  He’s got to be concentrating on that.”

Matt:  Good point.

Conversation #3

me:  You know, that one woman on the show supposedly loved her sister sooooo much, but I don’t buy it.  I tell you right now, I love my sister so much that I wouldn’t even let her turn into a zombie before I shot her.

Matt:  That’s sweet.

me:  That’s what I should have written in her birthday card.

Matt:  It isn’t too late.

me:  Yeah it is.  Her birthday was weeks ago.

Matt:  Send her a postscript birthday card.  Tell her that you need to express how much you love her.  “Just wanted you to know that I love you so much that I would shoot you in the head before you could even turn into a zombie”  Happy postscript birthday.

me:  Love, Cristy.

Matt:  That’s love.  I think she would like it.

I think that the conversations above prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that what my mama used to tell me is untrue:  you CANNOT turn your brains to mush by watching TV all the time.  We actually spent the whole weekend watching shows about mushy brains and we are still able to have these well-thought-out, highly articulated conversations.  Mama, you’re forgiven.