This has been on my mind

I should blog a lot more often.  Real bloggers blog more often than I do.  But, I’m not a really real blogger.  I have a job that takes up the time that I would like to have to write about all the ideas in my head.  Instead of writing, the ideas just bounce around, while I form paragraphs in my mind during my shower or my drive, but never get committed to paper or screen.  And some ideas and thoughts just bounce around, never forming enough content to become a blog of their own.

Here are the things that have been taking up my brain cells over the last three or four days:

  • Ebola – badScreen Shot 2014-10-16 at 8.27.00 PM
  • Ebola outbreak — worse
  • Ebola outbreak —  been haunting my nightmares since I read The Hot Zone by Richard Preston about 8 years ago
  • Ebola in America — inevitable
  • People who didn’t think it would be in America — naive
  • Lack of coverage of thousands dying in Africa now that Ebola is in America — shameful, but not surprising
  • NC Senate Race — terrible
  • NC Senate Race Result — awful, regardless of winner
  • Time — not enough time in a day
  • Time — going way to fast
  • Time — will I ever get to retire?
  • Time — how did I get this old?
  • Time — I don’t look bad for my age
  • Fall — I love Fall!
  • Fall — I hate this time of year as the days get shorter
  • Olive Tapenade hummus — love you
  • The Walking Dead — Yeah
  • The Walking Dead — Boo, can’t watch by myself, and now I’m by myself
  • The Walking Dead — fuck it, I’ll try to watch by myself
  • The Walking Dead — look at me, watching it by myself
  • The Walking Dead — crap, did they just cut those throats?
  • The Walking Dead — I’m glad that walkers aren’t real
  • The Walking Dead — why didn’t I take that shotgun when I left that he “gave” me for my Christmas present?
  • The Walking Dead — what am I going to do if there is a zombie apocalypse?  Who’s going to help me survive?
  • The Walking Dead — I’ll buy some canned goods to stock pile next time I’m at the store
  • New Viagra Commercial — that’s targeted at women?  huh?
  • New Viagra Commercial — wonder what the average age of a man with ED is?
  • New Viagra Commercial — wonder what the likelihood is that the next man that I date has ED?
  • Dating Again — Sure
  • Dating Again — meh
  • Dating Again — Absolutely not, men suck
  • Dating Again — Why not?
  • My marriage — *sigh*, just *sigh*
  • Work — I was a rock star!
  • Work — I have no idea what I’m doing some days
  • Work — I got this, be-yotches!  You know I do!
  • Work — I need a drink this evening
  • Me — am I doing alright?
  • Me — I’m doing alright!
  • Me — I’m a mess sometimes

So it goes.  And goes.  And goes.

I wish that I could take all that and make something of it.  Something wonderful and meaningful and grand.  I remind myself that I won’t always be able to produce greatness and that’s ok — but the act of trying eases my soul.

I know me, most of the time

I am relatively new at blogging, at least new at blogging consistently.  I dabbled in it for several years, but only recently began to write on a frequent basis.  And I’ve learned by reading other blogs and help and how to guides that bloggers are a lot like teenage girls — they crave feedback and approval.  They want to be popular, have a lot of followers, have a lot of likes.  What’s the point of taking the risk of putting your words and thoughts out there in cyberspace if not to get some positive feedback in return?

There is a lot of advice out there on how to get more readers, including to focus your blogs.  Blog on a theme, to specialize.  Like blog about desserts or cooking.  Or blog about gaming.  Or blog about children.  Or blog about gaming that includes cooking desserts for children.

Get These Thoughts Out of My Head

Well, that advice doesn’t help me at all.  I don’t focus or specialize at anything.

What am I an expert at?

**Crickets chirp.  Minutes pass.  Silence is king.**

I know the most about being me, living my life.  I wouldn’t even say that I specialize at being me.  There are more times than I wish that I would like to send in a substitute player for myself to live my life for the day while I stay home and watch true crime.  The sub surely couldn’t make any worse decisions during that 24 hour period than I do.  Maybe they would even make better ones.  Bonus!

So, I may never have thousands of followers or be voted Blog High School Homecoming Queen because there apparently isn’t a big group of followers for “middle-aged Southerner writing about her days”.  But frankly, I would rather read about the things that I find interesting than chocolate cakes or battling asteroids.  Oh, but if it were asteroids made of chocolate cake–that I would find interesting.  And handy to just walk outside and pick up cake.

UPDATE:  I’ve been informed that asteroids don’t hit the earth often, and if they do, it’s not good, i.e. that movie “Armageddon”.  I was envisioning little chocolate cake asteroids floating down, like manna.  Apparently, I need to be following some science blogs.