Tag Archives: husband

Birthday luck

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I had a birthday this past week and I am glad that I lived another 365 days, but I’m definitely past the age where birthdays are one of the most exciting days of my year. I remember the birthdays that were so important because each one got me one year closer to 16 — the best birthday ever, the day I got my driver’s license. Then, I remember each birthday that was so important because it got me one year closer to 21 — the best birthday ever, the day I could buy alcohol.

And many years later, I remember the details of those two birthdays very well. They were milestone birthdays.

The milestone birthdays that happen now are not so important because of what you get to do because you reached them, but important because you reached them. Doing anything after them is sorta gravy….

Regardless, I realized I am really lucky. Many people sent birthday wishes and I felt blessed that so many people took time from their day to acknowledge that my mother expelled me from her birth canal. (You know, the mother ought to really get the messages on a birthday…)

And I realized how lucky I am to be married to a man that understands me. Matt bought 43 scratch-off lottery tickets and hid them around the house. He knew that I would enjoy finding them and the quick rush of scratching them off. And some of his hiding places were clever, but he also took into account that I’m not a morning person so he didn’t make it difficult: in my shoes, in the Keurig, under the faucet, in the dog food…the man knows me.

20130526-193236.jpg

I won $9…okay, I’m not that lucky, but lucky enough.

Elder grateful month — day 2 — My husband

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It’s day 2 of Elder Grateful Month.  Whoop Whoop!

Today, I’m giving a shout out to my husband, Matt.  I am so grateful that I have him in my life and that he is my husband.

Ireland 2012

Matt and I will celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary next month.  (What is that?  Copper? Aluminum?  If you ask me, 5 years should be something precious and valuable because the first five years are hard.)  We do not have a perfect marriage, because no one does, but I think that we have a solid marriage.  I really, really, really like my husband even when I wonder why I love him.  And I really, really, really  love my husband even when I wonder why I am not killing him.

Matt, in return, puts up with a lot by being married to me.  I’m not an easy person to live with, to be married to or to be in love with.  He has to have great patience, lots of understanding and a big heart.  He has all three in abundance.

Luckily, we both have oversized senses of humor, which helps us through most situations.

So, to Matt, here is a quote from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran.  It is the Prophet’s thoughts on Love.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Second annual “official” Elder grateful month

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Today starts the 2nd Annual Elder Grateful Month. Every day, I will list one thing for which I am grateful. Brought to you with $0 funding.

I did this last year on my Tumblr blog (which was the first “official” Elder Grateful month), but I’ve tried to do it before via Facebook. I also use the Gratitude app on my iPhone everyday (not just Elder Grateful month) in an effort to be more diligent in recognizing all that I have instead of focusing on what I don’t have.

Winners in past years have included: Imitrex migraine medicine, library cards, Aretha Franklin, my husband and grocery stores. The list is varied.

To start the 2012 Elder Grateful Month, I am thankful for digital cameras and social media. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to have seen (almost instantly) my nieces and nephew in their Halloween costumes even though they live on the West Coast and I live on the East Coast.

Boo — like their blurry face costumes?

I hid their faces — I don’t think that I have the right to share their precious, beautiful images on the world wide web. Trust me–they are the prettiest children in the world.

Check in tomorrow for more.

Love

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“Love, hell.  That damn stuff stinks.” 

Quote by my Great-Aunt Dot Miller

When we lost our dog, Nick, I didn’t know if I would be able to ever (1) get over his loss or (2) welcome another dog into my life.

But as time passed, I really started to miss having a dog around.  Of course, I missed Nick specifically, but I also just missed having a little ball of love around, the noise of nails clicking on the floor, of having something that I could talk to, etc.  And as a couple of hard personal events took place earlier this year, including a big fight with depression, I really missed having a dog that I could just pet at the end of a hard day.

Matt wasn’t nearly as keen as I was on getting another dog.  In fact, he really just didn’t want one.

And marriage is about compromise and give and take.  I could never bring an animal into a house where Matt wasn’t full on board.  A dog totally changes your lifestyle.  It would have been wrong to ask him to change his life because I wanted a dog.

But Matt loves me and saw how often I would look at dog adoption sites.  And talk about dogs.  And draw dogs.  So, last week, Matt started looking at dogs for adoption and found the little cuties that we just adopted.

He not only found them, he encouraged me to meet Ray.  He told me that two dogs would be ok when we found out that Ray and Reynolds were dumped together and were best friends.  He kept reassuring me that he would welcome them with open arms.

As we now have dogs in our house for the first time in over a year, we also are dealing with potty accidents in the house and the smell of dog.  And we clean up pee with vinegar and water and look at each other and talk about what sweethearts these two little monsters are.

Yes, love, that damn stuff, does stink.  Right now, it smells like dog and vinegar and water.  And that’s the smell of a husband who understood exactly how important a four-legged little fur-ball was to me.

This Woman Is From Mars

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I love to watch true crime TV shows.  I love 48 Hours Mystery, Dateline, Snapped, etc.  I get caught up in the stories, especially the ones where one spouse kills another.

Matt hates that I watch these shows.  He just doesn’t understand the appeal.  I’m not quite sure why I love them either.  Part of it, I guess, is that most of the shows are produced and aired after someone has been tried and convicted of the crime, so there is some feeling of vindication and justice, some security in thinking that in the end, people don’t get away with committing these crimes (though I know that it does happen, at least on these shows, it usually doesn’t).

One day last week, I was watching Deadly Women on Netflix when Matt joined me on the couch and watched (suffered through) the last 15 minutes of an episode.  One of the people on the show was describing the deadly woman being profiled, saying “She used all her feminine wiles to get her way, to get all the things that she wanted.”  I looked at Matt and said:

me:  Do I use my feminine wiles to get my way?

Matt: (immediately)  No.

me:  You answered that with no hesitation.

Matt:  You don’t even have any feminine wiles.

me:  I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult.

Matt:  It’s neither.

me:  Do you want me to have some feminine wiles?

Matt:  What if I say that I do?  What are you going to do?  Read a book?  Watch a video?

Well, yes, smartypants.  I am.  I found a blog that tells me how to use my feminine wiles.  Here it is.  It sounds really stupid, but if I have to, I have to.
_________________________________________________________________________________

How to Use Your Feminine Wiles

How to Use Your Feminine Wiles

By Terry Mulligan, eHow User
Using your feminine wiles to create a spark in a new or existing relationship should not be a bad thing. On a first date, it’s refreshing to see the feminine side of a woman. In an existing relationship, it’s good to hold on to your feminine side — but, never in a contrived way. Being an alluring woman should never mean being trashy or dishonest. It should just be a catalyst to sparking a possible attraction.

Things You’ll Need (Tap on items you have)

  •  Limits on personal information
  •  Feminine, slightly revealing clothing
  •  Moments for light contact
  •  Lady-like vocabulary
  •  Ideas for a little fun
  •  Smiling eyes

Steps (Tap on step to mark as complete)

  •  Step 1 of 6 
    Be mysterious. Only reveal partial information about yourself. Tell your man he’s not ready for all of you — although you wish he was.
  •  Step 2 of 6 
    Dress feminine and slightly revealing. Wear slightly revealing clothing like a sweater innocently failing down one shoulder — never something totally see-through. Wear stilettos — even with jeans — if you dare.
  •  Step 3 of 6 
    Have a light, flirty touch. Flirting shouldn’t be obvious. It should be incidental by a quick, simple, soft touch. It should leave your man wanting more, not overwhelmed with too much upfront contact.
  •  Step 4 of 6 
    Speak like a lady. If your date wanted a truck driver, he’d visit a truck stop. Feminine wiles should not have a masculine undertone in speech or word.
  •  Step 5 of 6 
    Be a little naughty, but honest and nice. Only suggest what you’re able to offer. A little teasing can go a long way but it’s only nice to be honest about what you’d like to do.
  •  Step 6 of 6 
    Smile, even if when you’re not. Everyone wants to share pleasant moments. Even if you’re frowning in disagreement or playfully pouting, smile with your eyes — it shows respect for the man’s strength and opinion.

Tips & Warnings

  • Letting light-hearted conversation flow is all part of enjoying each other — at any stage in a relationship.
  • Being yourself should always be put above trying to stimulate attention.
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Uh, does anyone think that last one is little contradictory to the rest of the article?  I do, but I’m going to ignore that “ping” in my head, put on my feminine, flirty clothes, smile with my eyes, be naughty, but keep my language clean and keep some secrets.  And TOTALLY lose my mind in the process.
I think that I’ll just be happy that I’m wile-less.  Matt, I love you, but I can’t wile my way around you.

Postscript to the Letter to My Husband

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Used dirt bike for $2500 that you rode for 90 minutes
Emergency room visit for $16,573.91 that lasted 2 hours
Having something to say to you everytime you want to do something dangerous — “Do you remember the dirt bike?” — that lasts the rest of our lives
BEST MONEY YOU EVER SPENT!

Let’s See You Match Me With This

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We hardly ever watch network TV in our house, but we have been watching the Olympics since they have been on.  I guess the Olympic-watching crowd is mostly single because I have been overwhelmed by the number of match.com and eharmony.com commercials that come on.  Every time one of these commercials comes on, I think, “I’m so glad that I don’t have to date anymore.”

Matt tells me that I am the worst dater that he has ever met.  He says that he didn’t like me the first, second or third time that he met me.  On our first official date, I remembered that I had a prescription that I had to pick up before the pharmacy closed.  I thought that I was being extremely flexible when I told him that I had to go to the drugstore so we could (1) go together, (2) I could go and he could wait for me at the restaurant or (3) we could call the evening done and talk later.  Matt has said that it wasn’t being flexible, it was being the worst date ever.  (By the way, he opted to go with me to the drugstore.  I told him that I could have bought a bunch of yeast infection medicine and foot fungus treatment and then he could call it the worst date ever.)

My bad dating skills aren’t the worst around.  Recently, we had a girls’ weekend at my mom’s house with my mom, aunts and cousins.  During the course of the night, my Aunt Margo told the story about going on a double date with her ex-husband (her boyfriend at the time) and another couple back when they were all in high school.  I can’t remember the names of the other couple, and it really doesn’t matter, but the story goes that as they were driving through town the other girl yelled, “Stop the car!  I gotta shit!”

Even as I laughed, all I could do was think a couple of things.  First, I was surprised that the teenagers of what I’ve always thought of as my mom’s squeaky clean background would use the word “shit”.  Then I kept wondering why the girl (let’s call her Jane Doe), why Jane Doe would think that it would be okay to just yell out “I gotta shit”.  Did she grow up in one of those houses where talking about that was normal?  Like “I’m thirsty” or “I’m hungry”?  I’ve never been in a house like that, but surely they exist.  Or maybe she was trying to turn off her date?  I guess we’ll never know.

Then my Aunt Bobbie piped up and told us about one time when she was out on a double date.  My Aunt Bobbie worked at the hospital for 30+ years and was working there as a young woman during the time of the story.  She and her companions were out on their date when she realized that she needed to check on a patient that might be released.  She said to them, “We need to run by the hospital so I can check to see if I have a discharge.”

I laughed even harder at this story because this would So. Totally. Happen. to me.  I misunderstand people and they misunderstand me all the time.  Just word choice, I guess, and where your head is and their head is.  Like recently, I had to have a colonoscopy.  Which means drinking this nasty stuff called “movi-prep” the night before.  The next day before the procedure, the nurse asked, “Did you get clean from the movi-prep?”  And I said, “Yes, I took a shower this morning, so I don’t have any on me.”  She said, “No, are you cleaned out?”  Oh, yeah, that too.

And I just realized that my story and my Aunt Margo’s story both come back to poo.  Maybe I do know one of those households and it’s mine.

A Letter to My Husband

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Dear Matt,
I love you.  I love you more than I have ever loved anyone.  But I don’t understand you.

You are so smart, and funny, and thoughtful.  You are a planner, a researcher, a super-reviewer of the details; you are my “go-to” person when I want to know which car to buy, which vacation to take, which restaurant to try — you usually think things through so much that sometimes I think you can get a case of “paralysis of analysis.”

You think about what’s healthy for you.  We buy organic milk and fruits and vegetables.  You avoid OTC medications.  You avoid artificial flavors and sweeteners.  You are a very careful driver, always wearing your seat belt, driving defensively.

I understand all this.  Here’s what I don’t understand:

You, who won’t wear antiperspirant because of the aluminum in it (even though there haven’t been any reported cases of widespread death by antiperspirant), bought a dirt bike this past weekend (even though there have been many reported cases of injury and death by dirt bike).

First 20 Minutes on Bike

I am amazed at what you will do TO your body despite what you won’t PUT IN your body.  Did you know that you are no less vulnerable on the outside than you are on the inside?

And when you had a wreck about 30 minutes after this picture was taken, it was scary just how vulnerable you were.

How Things Could Have Been
source: tim.2wgroup.com

No, this isn’t you.  I stole this picture from the internet.  But it could have been you. And then what would you have done?  Especially without any antiperspirant on underneath all that plaster?

So, Matt, my husband, my love, my soul mate — are you any more cautious with what you will do to your body now than you were before?  Can I mark sky diving, race car driving, diving with Great White Sharks, hang gliding and all those other X-treme hobbies that make my head explode off your To-Do list?
Or am I still destined to not understand?  Either way, I love you.  But I let me know if I need to increase our Flexible Spending in our Health Account next year.
xoxoxoxo,
Cristy