Measuring tape and hula hoops

Here are the things that have been on my mind a lot recently:

  1. My job
  2. My future
  3. The government
  4. Random crap

I’m tired of thinking about my job and my future, so let’s talk about the government.

My friend, Paula, and I used to say that we wanted to go into every meeting with a measuring tape and ask all the men to take out their penises and let us measure.  Once we knew who had the biggest one, we could get on with the business at hand.  By measuring, we could skip all the chest pounding, the braggadocio, and the metaphorical circling of each other that would normally take place for the first 20 minutes of the meeting as they worked out who was the “big dog” in the room.  I thought it was an excellent efficiency idea.

I want to do the same thing with our government.  Let’s just measure them and move on.  Yes, John Boehner, yours is huge.  We’re all impressed.  Now, let’s get this government open.  Oh, Harry Reid, how do you find pants that fit?  You surely make all men weep with envy.  Now, let’s start negotiating some deals.  And Mr. President, of course yours is beyond compare.  We all know that the President gets an implant on inauguration day — so you shouldn’t feel threatened at all.  You, above all else, should be helping those less blessed than you find a way to work together.

STOP WORRYING ABOUT HOW BIG YOU ARE AND START THINKING ABOUT THE NATION AND ITS CITIZENS.  Your desire to come out “on top” ensures that many of us feel like “bottom-dwelling people.”

Ok, that’s my rant on government.  What else can you say that we’re not all thinking?


So, for random crap.  My friend, Kristin, and I ate lunch in Davidson the other day.  It’s a really neat little college town.  I love the creativity of college kids:


Hula Hoop on, People.  Hula Hoop on.

Being here isn’t always fun, but it can be productive

I have been uncommonly involved in soul-sucking meetings over the past several weeks.  In fact, the part of my soul that cares about the fate of the rainforest is gone.  I got nothing in me for the rainforests.  If things don’t change soon, I’m not going to give a rip for the starving children in China.  This can’t go on.

I drew a new picture to express how I have felt in some recent meetings.

Are We Going to Talk About this Topic Again?

I feel like Alice in Wonderland some days, but Wonderland is filled with reports and white boards and lots of coffee.  And I think that I would feel somewhat better about these meetings if we were actually discussing world-changing topics, like the rainforest or starving children in China.  But we’re not.

It’s been one of those weeks where you ask yourself “What am I doing with my life?”  I mean, it’s not like I’m curing cancer.  (Short digression — why is “curing cancer” always used as the example for “doing something with my life”?  Do you think that’s what scares people the most?  That’s not my biggest fear.  Ok, back to program.)  I’m performing honest work, but how is it changing lives?

I went through a period of asking myself “what am I doing?”, “how do I matter?”, “what is my purpose?” during my mid-30s and I’ve watched many of my younger friends go through the same introspection at about the same age or a little later in their lives.  I guess the mid-life crisis cliché is a cliché for a reason.  I believe that most people need to feel like they matter, like they have done some good in the world, like they are doing more than just taking up space.

And with the exception of times like this past week, I have made peace with my purpose.  I am not going to cure cancer.  Or become the next Steve Jobs.  Or become a missionary to some isolated place in the South American jungle.  But I can impact my little, itty-bitty section of time and space by being kind, telling the truth, offering my help, giving a smile, laughing freely, thinking of others…..  I know that these small things, when offered to me, have often changed the course of my day, the outcome of the week, the tone of a relationship.  I can do these.

And attend meetings.

Doodle Dee, Doodle Dum

I go to a lot of meetings at work.  Some days, it feels like I do nothing but sit in different meeting rooms around the building.  On good days, the topics are different.  On difficult days, the topics sound eerily similar, and an 8-hour day can seem like that movie Groundhog Day — a day that lasts forever.  Or actually, I guess, it would be a day that plays itself out over and over and over again.  Whatever, let’s just say that those days blow.

The ability to amuse myself during l-o-o-o-n-g meetings is one of the only ways that I am able to keep my sanity and my patience.  When the topic is something that doesn’t concern me, I have to find a way to recharge my batteries while sitting still.  Recently, my iPad has helped me refresh and renew my mind with my Noteshelf app that lets me doodle (while appearing to be taking notes).  I am NO artist, but I wanted to share my recent artistic endeavors.
Do you notice a theme?  I want a dog in theory (not so much in reality), so I spend a lot of time thinking about getting a dog.  Right now, I apparently spend a lot of time drawing dogs, too.  The dog above has a really big tongue (“the better to lick you with, my dear…”)
The next one is my favorite:  I drew it during one meeting while we were talking about a topic that had been discussed ad nauseam.  i.e. we were beating a dead horse.  You are welcome to print out my dead horse for use in your own meetings.  (I’ve been asked what the red blotch is in the middle of the horse — it’s his intestines to indicate that he’s dead — I was a little afraid that the word “DEAD” wasn’t enough.)
Next time you see me on my iPad, you can ask yourself “Is she taking notes or is she creating another Doodle Masterpiece?”  Only time will tell…