100 to Caption This Photo

I hope you didn’t think that I meant $100–I meant 100 chances.  Heck, take a 1000.  We don’t have $100 for such things.  What do you think we are–1%ers?

Matt and I were driving home the other night through downtown Statesville when he pointed out this tree to me.  I had to go back today and take a picture.  I challenge you to a caption-off.

Here are my submissions:

  1. Is that a log in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
  2. Just lookin’ for a knot-hole
  3. Tree in front of Statesville Courthouse
I mean, seriously, don’t you think that grounds people for the county would have noticed and cut this off (an arbor castration, so to speak)?  Or maybe, just maybe, Iredell County has grounds people with the best sense of humor.
So, yes, Matt and I are sometimes inappropriately immature.  (Though I think that might be redundant, since immaturity is almost always inappropriate.)  Scratch that.  Matt and I are sometimes inappropriately immature, but we giggled for several miles about this one.
Well done, grounds men, well done.

$1.50 the First Mile, $0.50 Every Mile After

Matt and I just went into Statesville for some frozen yogurt.  On the way home, a cab turned in front of us onto our road.  We live in the s-t-i-c-k-s (definition of s-t-i-c-k-s here), so a cab is a very unusual sight.  In fact, that was the first cab that I have ever seen in Statesville.

Our conversation as we followed said cab went something like this:

Matt:  I hate to sound mean, but I bet that cab is going to that nasty-ass trailer park.

me:  Why is that mean?  Because you assume that it is picking up someone who lost their license?  Picking up someone that is drunk?  Bringing someone some more beer?

Matt:  I’m pretty sure that cabs won’t bring you beer.

me:  Oh, yeah, they will.  We had one cab in West Jefferson that I remember growing up.  Joe’s Cabs.  And I remember hearing a story about somebody…shit, I can’t remember who…who would call Joe and say “Hey, Joe, would you go by the Backstreet and pick up some beer and bring it to me?”

Matt:  And Joe would?

me:  Well, hell yeah, for money.


Matt:  Wow, he would deliver beer.


me:  In New York City, that’s called “concierge service”.

Matt:  What’s it called in Jefferson?

me:  Joe’s Cabs.

The cab did turn into the nasty-ass trailer park*, but I don’t know if there was any beer delivery or not.

*Disclaimer:  The trailer park is nasty-ass because it’s nasty-ass, not because there are trailers.