Tough question tonight. Day 9

TG-it’s almost-F.  I’ve worked hard this week and am ready to not work hard this weekend.  Or to work hard for me and not the man.  Either has the one benefit of not requiring an alarm clock.

As I am wrapping up the “10 days / 10 questions” period of self-reflection, I have to admit that the last several nights’ questions have been easy to answer.  I can’t say the same for tonight’s question.

Question:  What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year? 


 

Wow.  Not only is this a tough question, but one of the reasons that it is tough is because it highlights a vulnerability.  Having a fear of something naturally gives that thing some power over you.

It’s not hard talking about my fear of heights (terrified!) or snakes or mice (irrational fear!).  But I have other fears that are hard for me to admit because they spotlight my vulnerabilities.  Like my fear of being abandoned, my fear of growing old and being alone, my fear of ridicule, my fear of being trapped in an old and ill body with an active mind, my fear of the exact opposite….

These are the fears that have worried me, kept me up, made my stomach feel knotty.  Some of the things that I have feared have come to fruition this past year.  I have dealt with and survived my abandonment demon this year.  That bastard is currently KO’ed in the corner.  And while it doesn’t mean that I won’t have to deal with again in the future, for now, I’m good.

I’m actually better than good, because I learned that I can live through facing a fear.  I can face it, pull through it, and even flourish afterwards.  Go, me.

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