I am failing. At least I feel like I am failing, so the end result is the same. Stress and anxiety.
The good news is that I feel like I am failing in my professional life, not my personal life. Plus, I am aware that I am failing. I have had some instances in the past where I thought I was doing a good job, but those around me didn’t. I would rather be “in the know” on this topic and not surprised at the end.
Feeling like a failure is no fun. It really sucks, actually. My confidence is tested, I question my judgement about most everything, my nerves are stretched, and I may, just may, have a small touch of paranoia. (Now, I’ll be concerned that you all are talking about me behind my back after reading this post. Hmmm….maybe should rethink posting this.)
While I am not enjoying this interlude, I am not fearful of it. Some of the most important milestones and turning points in my life have happened as a result of a failure.
I have recently heard a lot of people around me say things like, “I refuse to fail” or “I will do anything to keep from failing” or the old standby “Failure is not an option” and I think “That’s unrealistic.” And it’s a lost opportunity to grow.
I have learned more from my past failures than from any of my successes. No lie. As painful as they were when I was going through them, I know that I am a better person because of those failures.
I used to interview up to around 100 people per year for a training program. One of my favorite questions to ask was “Tell me about a time when things didn’t go the way that you planned.” A very open-ended question. Most of the candidates that I interviewed were just out of college, looking for their first “real” job, so I heard lots of stories about group projects that weren’t smooth, or summer jobs that weren’t all that were promised and so forth. I was interested in hearing how their project had gone awry and how they tried to mitigate, but I was always most interested and impressed by those who ended the answer by then saying, “And what that experience taught me was…..” Yes, I used to think, someone who learned from adversity.
So, I’m in a super-sucky place right now. I wonder what I’ll learn. I’m really looking for a bright side here, and learning is it. Smile at me, people, when you see me walking by, and just know–my brain cells are expanding from all the learning going on.
Completely and totally changing topics, I mentioned in my last post that I was going to start spicing up my tweets.
Did It. By Accident.
My friend, Nikki, and I had dinner last night and we discussed how we didn’t understand all the selfies girls took these days where they were pooching out their lips, like duck lips. So, today I tweeted Nikki a selfie of me doing the duck lip thing:
Then I quickly had to tweet:
I hate when I get my “d”s and “f”s confused. It causes all kinds of issues. Eh, in this case, however, it was probably ok either way.
Failing is such an interesting concept. Is it really failing or really the result of a label that is placed on actions that don’t meet our expectations. We are so tough on ourselves that it amazes me how often we see ourselves failing. Each hurdle makes us stronger and every time we fall we gain strength by getting up. I don’t ever see you failing at anything. Maybe you are stumbling a bit or maybe, just maybe, your genius is intentionally helping you to “fail” because the success that is being asked for is truly the real travesty.
Just a thought…
We are our own toughest critic. Tis true. And just feeling like I’m failing is enough to cause anxiety, right?
This wasn’t meant to be a bummer post, but more of a reminder to myself that failure is necessary to grow and has helped shape me in the past. I’m self encouraging!!
But I love your point about the success is sometimes the fact that you got back up. Amen. I love having such smart friends like you. Mwah.
Sorry , Cristy, you may look at it as you are failing but we know your accomplishments. Your definition of failing verses others definition may be completely different. Anyway, I already told you that you have another talent; I just read it. Maybe it is time for you to share this with the world. Love you bunches. 😉
Phillip had a pacemaker put it in today. He is doing well and we should go home tomorrow. He looks forward to having a happy “heartbeat!”
Sent from my iPad