Matt is having a birthday soon, so we drove the hour or so to visit my mom and step-father last night for a pre-birthday dinner. My Aunt Baby and Uncle Joe were also there and as always seems to happen, I came away from the evening with a good story or two. Any time that my family gets together, there tends to be at least one good tale that makes an appearance, because as Baby says, “You can’t make this shit up. You have to live it.” Indeed.
Last night, we started talking about how my Uncle Joe was getting back into some of the hobbies and interests that he used to have, like wearing cowboy boots and collecting guns. He had saved a lot of his pairs of cowboy boots that he had bought in the 70s and 80s and is just starting to wear them again (vintage!), so his argument is that this is a cost-effective interest.
Baby said something like “You’ll want to be wearing Sue boots again!” and she and my mom and Joe laughed and laughed.
me: What are Sue boots?
Baby: Back in the early 80s, me and your mom and Joe went to the Mt. Airy Fiddlers Convention with your dad while he set up his booth there to sell his Harley panties. [My dad would go to flea markets and fairs, etc. and sell cowboy hats, t-shirts, leather wallets, etc. and black panties with the Harley-Davidson logo that said “I’m a Harley Honey”. Classy.] Joe walked around to check out the competition and saw this Sioux woman selling boots.
me: Oh, Sioux as in S-I-O-U-X. I thought you were saying S-U-E.
Baby: No, like Indian. Anyway, he thought she was hot, and she talked him into buying these Sioux boots.
Joe: She was smoking hot.
Baby: So he comes walking back wearing these boots with fringe all the way down the front and they cost like $40, back in 1982 that was like $100. I was so mad!
Joe: She was really hot.
Baby: I guess I’m glad she wasn’t selling Sioux chandeliers, or I would have one of those in my house now.
Joe: Yeah, I would have bought one, cause she was hot.
Joe’s story made me think about the crazy stuff people do when they are trying to get someone’s attention or they, like Joe, think someone else is hot. We all do it, at some point in our lives. I know we do. And I think that for the most part it is harmless, like buying Sioux boots.
I drank two bottles of wine pretty much by myself at a restaurant in New York City one time because our waiter was hot and the more I drank, the more often he would come back to the table to refill my glass. Worst. Hangover. Ever.
My best friend in college got up in the middle of the night/morning, showered, put on makeup, etc., to meet a guy who called her on the phone, not realizing it was a crank call. When the guy on the phone asked her what she was doing, she asked, “Is this Dominick?” “Yes, it is. Meet me.” Because she thought it was Dominick, she did it because Dominick was hot. Of course, no one showed up because it was a crank call.
This temporary insanity is giddy and fun and makes me smile to remember. I think of the scene from Seinfeld where George Costanza said, “I once told a woman that I coined the phrase “Pardon my French.”” to get a woman. We will do some outlandish things. And some times we end up with boots, some times with hangovers. Maybe sometimes we end up with a new love.